May 24: Favoritism and Acceptance

Posted on May 24, 2013 by

Read James 2:1-13

Imagine for a moment that we were able to transport you back in time to your days in junior high…complete with weird hairdo and odd clothes (at least by today’s standards).  Were you the first one chosen for the team in gym class or were you the one, of whom it was finally said, “I guess we are stuck with so and so.”?  Were you part of the inside group with the inside scoop (read “latest gossip”)?  Or were the one on the outside…and, perhaps because you were a bit socially awkward, was the gossip about you?

Junior high is certainly a difficult time as people jostle for position, leaving a few casualties in their wake.  It can be a time of cliques and favoritism, which painfully excludes some people.  We can be thankful that we are no longer in junior high!

But although most reading this are no longer in that phase of life, is it possible that favoritism is still just as much a part of our lives?  Is it possible that we have just found more socially acceptable means of expressing that favoritism?

Rather than favoritism, Jesus followers should demonstrate acceptance.  According to James, this is the kind of acceptance that gives little thought to financial stature.  It does not esteem a person more or less because of what he/she wears.  It does not offer unique privileges to those with certain external characteristics.  It does not disrespect others because of the lack of certain things.  It requires that I have the same kind of gracious response to the well-dressed person in Wal-Mart as I have for the person holding the sign asking for a donation at the light as I leave Wal-Mart.

That kind of acceptance of people does not necessitate approval of their choices.  Some of those may be contrary to clear biblical, moral absolutes.  Communicating that kind of acceptance while withholding approval is a tightrope walk you will face frequently.  It will require wisdom every step along the way.  It is a fine line with a potentially dangerous abyss on either side.

God, give me wisdom for that walk in those relationships today!

sbk

Posted in Family Survival Kit, James

May 23: Self-centered or Accepting?

Posted on May 23, 2013 by

Read 3 John 1-15

John’s third letter is not one in which I have spent much time.  It is very likely that the epistle is also less familiar to you as well.  Personalities like Gaius, Diotrephes, and Demetrius just don’t bring with them memorable stories the way that Gideon, Daniel, and David do.  Nevertheless, these few lines provide us with insight into their lives and a great contrast of their tendencies.

The contrast of Gaius and Diotrephes is especially eye-opening!  Gaius, on the one hand, had walked in the truth that at that point in time was likely conveyed both in written form as documents that circulated among believer and as an oral body of truth.  He was a man given to hospitality, apparently extending care even to believing brothers he did not know.   Gaius was also one who understood and participated in the mission of God.  At least some who had benefited from his hospitality had been itinerant missionaries who had “gone out for the sake of the name” (v. 7).  And John seems to both applaud and challenge Gaius for the support he had/would offer to them.

And then there was Diotrephes.  He was self-centered.  He would not welcome the apostle John and others associated with him.  In fact, he even spread gossip about them.  But that attitude reached beyond John.  He was an isolationist who would not allow outsiders in.  Diotrephes had little room for the truth of God and the fellowship of His people in his life.

Although there are many differences between these two men, perhaps we could boil the contrast down to a single word: “acceptance.”  Gaius was willing and able to accept and bless other valued members of the body of Christ.  Diotrephes, in his pride, was unwilling and unable to recognize, welcome, and minister to others.

This same attitude of acceptance is critical for all followers of Christ.  It is essential for church life and for family relationships.  If you allow pride to slip in, the negative impact of a “Diotrephes outcome” can be felt.  If you find yourself always excluding others, that might be a tendency in you.

Instead, be a welcoming, accepting Gaius.

sbk

Posted in 3 John, Family Survival Kit

May 22: Change and Acceptance

Posted on May 22, 2013 by

Read Philemon 1:1-25

“I have had it up to here!”

I wonder if Philemon had ever raised his hand to nearly the top of his head as he expressed the Greek equivalent of those words.  He certainly had reason too.  His servant, Onesimus, had been nothing short of frustrating!  Even though Philemon was a loving, refreshing person to be around, it seemed that this other man knew how to push his buttons.  Would one of these have pushed you over the top?  All of them together?

  • His generally irresponsible actions?
  • The property damage or loss caused by him?
  • The fact that he ran away?

But what God did was miraculous!  He saw that this Onesimus was incarcerated in the same prison where the apostle Paul had been placed for preaching the gospel.  In this “small world” experience, Paul shared the same message of freedom and hope with Onesimus that he had shared with Philemon years before.  And Onesimus made the same response.  He, like his master before him, received Christ and gave evidence of life change.

At the writing of this letter, it was time for Onesimus to attempt to deal with some aspects of his past.  One of those was the need to reconcile.  It must have been an awkward thing as Epaphras knocked on the door of his master’s home and handed him the letter.  Perhaps there was conversation.  But eventually, it boiled down to Philemon’s response to verse 17.  Would Philemon welcome Onesimus the way he would the apostle Paul?  Would he accept him now no longer as a servant in his household but as a brother in Christ?

The decision was his.

Are you faced with a similar decision?  Is there a person in your family, neighborhood, place of employment, circle of contacts to whom you once said, “I have had it up to here!”?  Is it possible that they have changed?  Is it time for you to change…to leave behind your anger and to replace it with acceptance and forgiveness?

The decision is yours.

sbk

Posted in Family Survival Kit, Philemon

May 21: Estrangement and Acceptance

Posted on May 21, 2013 by

Read Genesis 32:1-33:20

“But Esau ran…”

I wonder what went through Jacob’s mind as he saw his brother running towards him.  Jacob had prepared, even braced himself, for this encounter.  The brothers, Esau and Jacob, you see, had a history that was not particularly positive.  At a vulnerable moment of extreme hunger, Jacob had convinced his brother to exchange the privileges of his birth right for a bowl of stew.  Later, in their father’s final days, Jacob pretended to be Easau and deceived his then blind father out of a blessing that Dad had not designed for him.

Although the two came from the same bloodline, there was bad blood between them.  In fact, the last recorded words from the mouth of Esau prior to the encounter were…and I quote…”…I will kill my brother Jacob!”  (Gen. 27:41)

And now, Esau was running towards Jacob.  Jacob must have looked at his brother’s hands.  Was he carrying a weapon?  He must have tried to examine his brother’s face.  Did he look angry?

In anticipation of this day, Jacob had done all he knew to protect his family and pacify his brother.  He had divided the people and the livestock into two groups.  In case of an attack, there was a greater chance that at least half would survive.  And then he sent gift after gift in an attempt to find favor in his brother’s eyes.

But this was the moment of truth.  Esau was running towards him.  Was it to attack?  Would they engage in a wrestling match like the one he had experienced with God the night before?

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.”  (Genesis 33:4 NIV)

Phew!  Rather than revenge, Jacob experienced acceptance and some degree of reconciliation.

Do you have a family member or former friend from whom you are estranged?  Is there bad blood between you?  Was your last encounter tense…perhaps even peppered with threats or ultimatums?  What steps do you need to take towards acceptance and reconciliation?

sbk

Posted in Family Survival Kit, Genesis

May 20: Antagonism or Acceptance

Posted on May 20, 2013 by

Read Genesis 4:1-26

It certainly didn’t take long for the first sibling rivalry to evidence itself.  Cain and Abel were the first siblings.  And the sense of antagonism that Cain felt towards his brother was epic in proportion…or at least in its expression.

“While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.”  (v. 8b)

If we take the black box from the crash debris and attempt to examine what went wrong, we discover that we have insufficient data to draw all of the conclusions we want.  Clearly, God’s favorable/unfavorable response was to their offerings.  Hebrews tells us that the thing that set Abel’s offering apart was the fact that it was offered in faith (Heb. 11:4).  God must have given clear instruction not recorded in the early chapters of Genesis about such offerings.

  • Was it the fact that it was from flocks and not from the fruit of the ground?  Was God already beginning to point to the superiority of the once for all sacrifice of Jesus, the perfect Lamb of God?
  • Was it the fact that Cain’s was an “offering” while Abel’s was from the “firstborn?”  Had God already begun to elevate principles of priority and trust?

While these are reasonable speculations, bottom line, it was an issue of faith.

Cain was fully aware of God’s disregard for his offering.  And his response exposes his second mistake.  Rather than sorrowful repentance over the factors that had caused God to withhold favor, Cain allowed his emotions to turn to anger.  And rather than rejoicing in the blessing of his brother, he allowed his response to turn to murder.

Be careful here.  We may be tempted to assess God’s favor or disfavor in our lives or the lives of others in terms of visible and tangible evidence.  That is not always the true test.

But can you accept the fact that God’s response in the unfolding details of another family member’s life is different from your own?  Can you accept the fact that someone else may seem to have the perfect life and never seem to experience major difficulties while yours is far from that?  Don’t let those observable differences in external situations cause you to become jealous, angry, or even murderous towards others.

Accept them.  Rejoice with them.

sbk

Posted in Family Survival Kit, Genesis

May 19: Accept Your Differences

Posted on May 19, 2013 by

Read Romans 14:1-15:7

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”  (Rom. 15:7)

How much diversity is represented in your family?  Our two sons are vastly different while our daughter is somewhere in between.  My brother loves backpacking alone in the mountains.  I prefer holding hands with Celeste while we walk around Kinney Fields.  My grandfather was a rock collector and a hobby lapidarist (gemstone cutter) while grandma enjoyed knitting.

Of course those differences are somewhat neutral.  What if we start talking politics?  Is one family member a Republican while another is a Democrat?  Or how about faith issues?  Or what about spending habits?  These can be a bit more emotional topics.  They can cause us to draw hard lines and hold even family members at arm’s length.

In today’s reading, Paul addresses issues that, for some, were likely highly emotional.  People had deep and yet differing convictions about them.  To you and me they may seem trivial, but to them they were very important.  They included:

  1. Dietary issues.  Some believers made a wide berth around meat because the market often included meat that had been sacrificed to idols.  They weren’t coming anywhere near that…and some even became virtual vegetarians!  Meanwhile, others understood that idols were meaningless.  There was no deity behind those wooden or stone objects…and they knew it, so they had no problem eating meat.
  2. Important days.  Some place special emphasis on certain days of the week or of the year.  Perhaps they believed that Sunday was the right day to worship or that special recognition should be given to some of the Old Testament days and feasts.  Others saw themselves as having freedom in Christ.

Paul’s counsel to the first-century church was that of acceptance.  Rather than drawing lines, calling names, and just continue to reflect the freedom or restrictions they felt, he encouraged acceptance and sensitivity.  Are there family members, among whom you need to reflect that?

Of course, this is not easy.  Not every issue is one that is on the fringe of faith in Christ like days and diets.  Some strike at the very core.  Knowing how to respond to others then requires great wisdom.

Even so, accepting the other person as one created in the image of God can be a great place to start.

sbk

Posted in Family Survival Kit, Romans

May 18: Gender Appreciation

Posted on May 18, 2013 by

Read Genesis 2:1-25

“…male and female He created them.”

According to author John Gray, “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.”  Meanwhile, Bill and Pam Farrel tell us, “Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti.”  These authors of the last few decades remind us of something that God built into men and women long ago…differences.  We are not alike…and the differences are much deeper and subtle than anatomical or physiological.

It all started with the “aloneness” of man, which, by the way, God recognized as “not good.”  But in making a suitable helper, God made a human that “corresponded to” him.  This would be someone who was similar enough to make life interesting but different enough to make life crazy.

OK, part of that last sentence may sound a bit exaggerated.  But let’s face it, differences between men and women can be frustrating!  He can be so compartmentalized, and she can be so complex.  She can be too sensitive, and he can be too matter of fact.  Keep in mind, however, that God is the source of many of the differences we observe (and experience)!  Rather than allowing those differences to frustrate us, we must find ways to appreciate and celebrate them.

Those differences must be appreciated in every type of relationship.  Husbands and wives can be and should be grateful for those distinctions.  But so should the sister and brother.  Daddies and daughters and sons and mothers must also learn to celebrate the fact that they are different.

Keep in mind, however, that neither person in those relationships can use their gender as an excuse for sin.  Both boys and girls, woman and men are bound by the same instruction about loving relationships found in 1 Corinthians 13.  Whether male or female, all of us are to be patient and kind, but not envious, boastful, or proud.  Neither men nor women are to dishonor others, keep record of wrongs, be self-seeking or easily angered.  While it is true that a general gender tendency may make you more susceptible to a specific kind of action or response, it is not, therefore, automatically justified.

While appreciating gender differences do not use gender excuses.

sbk

Posted in Family Survival Kit, Genesis