In speaking about the commandment “you shall not murder”, we do not often look inwardly. However, as James states, sin is a killer of the spirit as well as depression (James 1).
I am no stranger to depression; I struggled with depression and self-mutilation from a young age. The only thing that I found that would kill the feelings I was experiencing on the inside was to hurt myself on the outside. The darkness I experienced was a real darkness where I saw no hope. A month after my 21st birthday, I crept farther into depression and hopelessness and attempted suicide. This, however, is my beginning.
It was in that moment of attempt that the Lord met me more heavily than I had ever experienced before. It was in that moment that He showed me my worth. My life was renewed because of the cross and I began to heal in the following days, weeks, months and now years.
It’s no secret that David also dealt with depression throughout his life, with Psalm 42 being a great example of what he dealt with. In verse 5, David is speaking over himself to look at the One who is mighty and strong. In verse 9, he feels as though the Lord has forgotten him.
When we give into the weight of depression and don’t learn to fight it, it will always feel as if God has walked away, where in reality, our spirit has been persuaded towards darkness and not towards His arms. I love verse 8 and 11; David commands his soul to put his hope in God and that he will continue to praise him.
Emotions are not an indicator of truth. It takes a lot of work to come to a place where you can feel the emotions but open your hands allowing the Lord to comfort and walk with you.
It is up to us to not allow our Spirit to be the victim of our depression.
No matter what you are going through, the emotions you are struggling with, strengthen your mind and heart with His words of love and truth and allow them to soak up the feelings and circumstance, reminding you of the hope in Jesus. He is here to comfort you, He is here to be your refuge. His arms are open; will you run to Him?