Jake and I are two weeks removed from finishing up Financial Peace University and it was such an eye-opening experience doing it alongside my husband. We considered how much we were spending and I was specifically convicted by the Lord regarding my discontentment.
I grew up in central Florida with a single mom (me being the youngest of 4) who worked for the state and we were in the loooowww middle-class income bracket. We didn’t have a lot but we always had enough. Mom never complained but always prayed. She depended on God for it all and we were blessed with a great village of people who cared for our needs when my mother’s income couldn’t.
Looking back, the 10-year-old Kelly was selfish and mean, wanting the newest and best outfit because my friends did. When it came to comparison, I was beyond discontent to the point where my heart would grow calloused and mean.
I believe this is where the root was implanted.
I’ve said this many times before, but the enemy’s number one goal is not for you to walk away from the Lord but to forget WHO He is. When our hearts become discontent, we begin to believe that what we have been given simply isn’t enough.
Now, you can have a nice car, house and consistent vacations but, if your heart’s motive isn’t rooted in contentment, you’re walking down a scary slope that will quickly lead to discontentment.
Too many times in my life I have been in a discontented place with this past summer being a recent example. A lot was going on within our family with Jake’s health and restrictions we were facing. Because of it, my mind turned to social media to escape from it all. For a week I just sank into a place where I would compare, judge and envy things from others thinking that would make my life better.
When really, all I needed was Jesus.
After that week, I sat with the Lord and wrote this piece:
“I found myself to be a person I do not recognize
Where insecurities transformed into pride
Where loneliness and jealousy met hostility
I found myself to be a person I do not recognize
Where heartache and sadness scream in despise
Where happiness is met with a smile in disguise
So, what is there to do?
The only answer is
…and always will be
Where I’m broken, He picks up the pieces
Where I’m sad, He shows me Joy
Where I’m weak, He holds me up
Where I’m lost, He leads me back
Take me back
Back to your Throne room
Where I surrender all.”
You see, we may think we know what is good for us but the Lord knows what’s best. We may look at someone else’s life and think “I want that” but the truth is the Lord would NOT be able to use YOU in YOUR LIFE the way He does if YOU were in THEIR life.
I challenge you: go before the Lord and ask if there is any discontentment sprouting in your life and surrender it to the Lord.
When this happens, you can move into a place of contentment!