Read Psalm 51:3-6
I remember the day like it was yesterday.
I can take you to the exact spot where I pulled out the garbage from my emotional closet and brought it into the light.
Kelly and I were married for a few months at this point and I recall the sin that was present in my life weighing heavily on me throughout the day. My closet was stuffed full of things that I wouldn’t want anyone to know about and fought for many years to keep hidden.
Kelly and I’s conversation was hard. There were things in my life that she didn’t know about but should. I knew it would be hard for her to hear but I knew that, if we were going to be a married couple who would honor the Lord through their lives, we needed to have clear consciences.
Six and a half years later since that conversation, I’m in a much better spot. I still struggle but I don’t struggle alone. The steps of ReGen and the faithfulness of those around me have helped me gain victory over the sin in my life and even encourage those who are beginning their journey to recovery.
One of the most intense steps in the recovery process is called “inventory” which means that:
“We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
It took me a very long time to open the deepest part of me and search for all the sin that sprouted behind the scenes and take immediate action to address them.
David’s words in today’s reading are intense:
“For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.”
We know where we have fallen short and we all know the weight that comes from our sin always being visible to us. It’s hard to escape. Sometimes, it’s hard to breathe.
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.”
Part of the inventory process is realizing who it is, ultimately, that we have wronged. At it’s very core, sins are transgressions against God Himself. The very person who was nailed to a tree in our place is the person that we continually sin against.
“Surely, I was sinful at first, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Because of the Fall of Man in Genesis 3, we are born sinners. Just ask any parent how long it takes for them to discover that their children are capable of sin. This is a problem that has existed since we were conceived in our mother’s womb.
However, the hope, the action comes from the next verse:
“Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.”
The Message Bible says:
“What you’re after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.”
We should aspire to truthful lives. Even if it means pulling out the junk that has been hidden for so long and bringing it into the light.
I pray that you would be moved to take a searching and fearless moral inventory of your life. What is going on behind the scenes that select people should have unprecedented access to? Don’t parade your sin to the masses but find a couple of trusted people who could hold you accountable in your journey to recovery!
Jake Lawson – ReGen Leader
ReGeneration is a ministry for people battling the storms of life. From emotional struggles to substance abuse, ReGen is a ministry for those who want to experience healing, recovery, community and accountability in the midst of their storms. Currently, ReGen meets on Tuesday nights (7p) at Grace Church in Wooster. We would LOVE to host you! Text “regen” to 3302649459 if you want more information or want to attend!